Friday 13 November 2015

Jordan's Birthday

I have a new, red, bike. I like my birthday because I like my new bike. Tracey gave me a shark and wave pencil case. I don't know what will happen tonight.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Jordy! I really like your story about your birthday.You have Usen Punctuation and capitil letters maybe next time you could Put some more imfomation into what else you got for your birthday.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hay Jordan
    this is an amazing piece of writing you have lots of comers and full stops. Next time you could use some more descriptive words.
    Next time what are you going to write about???
    ELZ

    ReplyDelete

Thank-you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.